Chasing God Until He Caught Me: Chapter Eight - Early Light

The Compelling Story of God's Relentless Pursuit To Rescue One Lost Soul

Chapter Index

First Light, Highland House Sunrise - Photo by Cork Hutson

It was during the geological field trip that I became friends with one of the other hikers.

Ronna was very pretty and fun to be around. During our conversations, she appeared to be on a similar “spiritual” quest. We were attracted to each other and it wasn't long before we decided to “move in” together.

It turned out that Ronna was from a small high desert town in Eastern Oregon. She had married a high school boyfriend when still a teenager. They had 2 daughters, but like many early marriages, it did not last.

When I met Ronna, her girls were around seven and five. Suddenly, I went from being a single carefree young man to having a ready-made family. Of course, I was not prepared for this, but desperately wanted to make it work.

We enjoyed doing the same kind of things like wilderness hiking, snow skiing, and of course, smoking pot.

By this time, I had quit drinking altogether. I did see that her girls needed a father figure in their lives and I was foolish enough to think I could provide that.

It wasn't long though, before our spiritual quests began to clash. Ronna continued to be happy in the pursuit of truth. I, on the other hand, would never be satisfied until I found it.

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Several things happened, which, as I look back, could only be the Providential hand of God.

For instance, while at Lane Community College, I discovered that there was a paperback exchange on the third floor of the Student Center.

My love for reading continued to grow, so I was always on the lookout for interesting books to read. Historical novels, biographies, and narratives were of particular interest.

The book exchange was filled with all kinds of historical accounts of early Christians, particularly martyrs.

I have often wondered whether God prepared that book exchange “for such a time as this”? (ref. Esther 4:14)

The first one I read was the story of John Huss who was a Czech priest and university professor.

As a result of studying the Bible on his own, he began to differ from the Catholic Church on its various doctrines.

Eventually, Huss was convicted of “heresy”. He was publicly burned at the stake. He never recanted.

I marveled that someone would actually believe something so strongly that they would be willing to die a horrible death for it.

There were books about similar individuals or groups of “believers” who endured unimaginable suffering for their beliefs and desire to “follow Christ”.

Much later, I discovered that the Bible itself talked about such people. (ref. Hebrews 11:32-40)

Sensing there was some message there for me, I devoured them. These stories had a tremendous impact on me and I would contemplate them constantly.

At this time, I still thought that “all spiritual pursuits led to God”, as long as they were sincere.

This belief was beginning to crack, though I still could not conceive of whole groups of people being willing to die for a “belief”, especially a religious one.

The main objective of The Bible As Literature course I took was to study the different literary styles in the Bible. I quickly found, however, that it was impossible to focus on style without contemplating the content.

As I read, I became fascinated when I came across a scripture verse like Job 19:26 -

“And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God. Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.”

It intrigued me that Job wrote with such certainty that he would see God “in his flesh” after “worms destroyed” his body.

I read through the books of Romans, Revelation, Psalms, Proverbs, Genesis, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon.

Most of it I did not understand. I sensed that there was some “message” there that I was supposed to get, but for the life of me, I could not understand it.

The early rays of a new dawn were just breaking the horizon of hope. I was gaining confidence that my pursuit was not in vain.

So I kept searching for “the answer”.

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