Previously:
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind …” - ref. Romans 12:2
In the previous chapter, we saw that A.J. had an epiphany about his dad, which made him all the more determined to find out the truth. He quickly dialed the number before he had time to talk himself out of it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Dad. It's A.J. How’s it going?”
“I'm doing alright, son. What's up?”
“Dad, I need to come talk to you. It's important. Do you have some time this morning?”
“Sure, son. What’s this all about? It sounds urgent.”
“I'll tell you when I get there. See you in about an hour.”
“OK, Buddy. See you soon.”
A.J. called P.J. to let her know what he was doing.
“I will be thinking of you, A.J., and hoping it goes well.”
“Thanks. And I think you and I need to talk more about all this next time we see each other.”
“There's nothing more I'd rather do”, said P.J. “I have not stopped thinking about what you said last time about the library and all.
“And, A.J., thank you for including me in this. It means so much to me.”
“OK. I'll call you later.”
When he hung up, his mind reflected for a minute on what she said. Well, maybe not so much on what she said, but the way she said it.
Like it was the most important thing that had happened in her life.
As A.J. approached his parents’ home, he glanced up, almost imperceptibly, and said, “Thank you.”
This startled him. Why did he say that? Who, exactly, was he thanking?
His dad must have been watching because before A.J. could knock, the door opened.
“Hey, Buddy.” His dad had always referred to him that way when he greeted him.
“Hey, Dad. Thanks for taking the time to talk.”
“Well, it's a nice morning, so let's go sit out on the patio. Want some coffee?”
“Sure, I always liked the way you make coffee. Bold, but not bitter.”
His dad laughed. “It's all in how it's done these days. When I was growing up, We didn't have all these highfalutin coffee-making systems. It just sat in a pot and boiled all day. It was pretty bad.
“It's actually pretty simple”, he continued. “Just make sure the water is at the right temperature and slowly pour it over the finely ground dark roast, put it into an insulated carafe, and voila!”
AJ laughed. He always liked his dad's witty way of stating the obvious.
As they walked out to the patio, A.J. said, “Dad, I have been contemplating a lot of things lately. Things we have talked about before to a degree. Things like the purpose of life. Why should we be content with the way things are? But, this time it's different.”
His dad stopped.
Without even speaking, the look on his dad's face confirmed A.J.'s suspicion that his dad once had the same dreams that he had. To be different than what was expected and have a positive impact on the lives of others.
But something stopped him. Most likely, someone. A.J. was determined to find out.
The patio table overlooked a beautiful setting. His mother's handiwork in the various flower beds around the backyard was amazing.
Colors that he never thought would go together blended perfectly and always matched the season of the year.
His mother was a creative genius, yet she seemed to be oblivious to this. So much talent, so little to show, apart from her backyard.
A.J. sipped his coffee.
“Thanks, Dad. This coffee is great.”
“Listen, son, I know you didn't come over to talk about my coffee-making skills, so let me tell you a story. A story you might find surprising, but I suspect you’ve already figured out part of it.”
Finally, the conversation A.J. had wanted to have with his father for years was going to happen. His eyes were focused on his Dad's face. It looked like there were tears welling up in his eyes. He thought he detected a slight tremble in his voice.
“When you were little, probably around four or five, I could already see that adventurous and faraway look in your eyes.
“You always talked about being the good guy, the hero who rescued others from distress and disaster.
“For years, you would march off to battle and come home tired and happy that you had slain the dragon and saved a damsel in distress. There were many imaginary dragon heads mounted on the walls of your room.
“When you got older and the quest for victory over the biggest dragon of all, the one called Fear, became stronger and stronger, I knew I had to put a stop to it before you got permanently wounded in spirit.”
His dad stopped for a moment when he saw the astonished look on A.J.'s face.
“You had no clue I knew, did you?”
“How did you know?”
“Well, that's the part I never told you or anyone else, son. You see when I saw that you were determined to keep going, I wanted to protect you, to keep you from experiencing the same thing I did when I was just a few years younger than you are right now.”
A.J. was stunned. It took him a moment to find his voice. “You, Dad? You went out to slay dragons and sought to kill the dragon called Fear?”
“Yes, son. Me. When I would see you so focused, it was like looking into a mirror. All I could see was me. But, from the vantage point of looking back as a wounded veteran. I wanted to keep that from you if I could.
“The last time I went out to get victory over Fear, he blind-sided me and flung me around like a rag doll. I limped back home and nursed my wounds for a few weeks before even thinking about what happened.
“That was the point where I made a decision that has affected the rest of my life. When I met your mother, we fell in love and married. I finished school in accounting and have been working in that field ever since.
“Don't get me wrong there. Accounting was and still is something I love to do, so at least I have that. But, my dream was to launch out on my own and start my own accounting practice.”
“So, why didn't you, Dad?”
“Well, you see, that exposed my real fear. It was not some mental monster, but what that monster represented. And for me, he represented SUCCESS!
“I was afraid of Success.
“What if I launched out and created a successful accounting firm where I employed other accountants and support people? What about my responsibility to the firm's clients? What if I was not able to satisfy their needs?
“All these things kept going through my mind. And then when I met your mother, my sense of responsibility seemed to double. How could I ever face her if I failed to be able to take care of her the way she deserved?”
A.J. had always loved the way his dad talked about his mom with such tenderness.
“On the other hand, what if the accounting practice became so successful that I began neglecting my family? I made a decision right then and there that I would find as good an accounting job as I could, settle down with my new family, and enjoy what I could from this life.”
A.J. was speechless. Instantly, he developed an even greater empathy and respect for his father. He could not believe the sacrifices he had made for his family.
He started to speak, “Dad, I . . .”
“Wait a minute, son. Let me finish.”
A.J. took a sip of his coffee and sat quietly, watching his dad gather his thoughts. He knew this must be painful, yet he sensed it was something his dad had been trying to find the courage to say for a long time.
“A.J., from a child you have demonstrated that same dream and goal-driven determination that I had growing up. But, I also experienced the disappointment and heartbreak that inevitably comes with life.
“I experienced the negative chiding of others who accused me of thinking I was better than others.
“That sounds just like the lady at the library”, A.J. interjected.
“Oh! So, you have already made it that far, huh?”
“Yes, that is where I mainly experienced this negative attitude.”
“You will, no doubt, encounter others as well, but it started there. I never should have let her get to me like that."
A.J. wondered how long the reference librarian had been there.
“Anyway, the point I want to get to this morning is this: I have tried to discourage you and shield you from hurt and failure. Your mother and I didn't want you to be devastated by disappointment. So, we constantly tried to steer you in the direction of just getting a job, meeting a nice young girl, and settling down to raise a family.
“Now, after seeing your continued determination in spite of all that you have been through, I realized I was wrong.
“I now understand that disappointment is a great teacher.
“My main goal this morning, A.J., is for you to understand how sorry I am about trying to stop you from achieving your dreams and goals and preventing you from going out into the world and making a difference.
“So, beginning today, I have a new goal that I will not be afraid to pursue. It is to become your biggest cheerleader as you seek your destiny.
“I will use every skill, ability, and experience in life that our Creator endowed me with to teach you and cheer you on to the finish line!”
A.J. was completely silenced by his father’s stunning confession. The only sounds to be heard were the birds in the nearby trees.
His dad had referenced “our Creator” as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Yet, he had never once mentioned this while A.J. was growing up. They would definitely have to talk about that.
He saw tears flow freely from his dad's eyes. These were not the tears of the sadness of one who had miserably failed in life, but tears of relief and joy of one who finally realized that he has been successful.
It was an amazing transformation happening right before his eyes.
A.J.'s dad had successfully created a loving, nurturing environment for his family. He had raised A.J. and his sister to become caring and hardworking. And, though outwardly, he had tried to shield A.J. from the failures in life, there was inward cheering, secretly hoping that his son would break through the fear of success and not only make something of his life but also impact the lives of others.
A.J. realized that his dad had been waiting to see if A.J. had what it took to push past the fears and disappointments and keep going, come what may.
When he saw that A.J. was not going to quit, the huge weight of guilt that had been growing year by year had been lifted off his back and vanished.
This was when he realized that he had been living out his true calling in life. Not only with his own children but with the young accountants and support personnel he managed at the firm.
He had been a tremendous influence in all of their lives. He always encouraged them to go the extra mile to serve their client base. This, he said, would make for happy customers and happy customers were repeat customers.
Though A.J.'s dad did not own the accounting firm he worked for, he had been there longer than anyone else and had become the de facto go-to person for almost any problem, solution, or situation that arose.
The owners left almost all decision-making in his hands. Only the major decisions, affecting the direction and profitability of the firm were made by the partners. Even then A.J.'s dad was consulted.
Finally, A.J. spoke.
“Dad, I'm totally blown away. I just watched a transformation happen right before my eyes as you were telling me this.”
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